Handling An Empty Nest

Written by:Gilberto Lopez

As you spend the years looking after children and making them your priority in life, the fact that one day they will be independent and fly the nest seems to be light years away. Yet the day they grow up is inevitable, and one day your kids will pack up and leave for college or a home of their own as they begin a new, exciting journey in life. For many, this adjustment is extremely heart-wrenching. The empty feeling is a common occurrence among parents. Rest assured that there is help for this transition in life.

It is very important for you to realize that despite their being away from home, they are still in your life. You will always be a parent to your children. Essentially, the relationship is mainly changing because your children are not as reliant on you as they used to be, something toward which a good parent progresses naturally from the earliest years. When kids are growing up, part of the process is to become more independent with each passing year. Instead of drawing away, you should appreciate the turn that their lives are taking and assist them in any way you can.

It doesn't matter how far away your kids are, they are always going to need you in some capacity. Moreover, they will always be a constant source of love for you. If you give them the support they need, they can grow into becoming your friends as well.

Today many couples prefer to wait a few years before having kids. The reason for this is that once kids are on the scene, the marriage really takes a backseat to the needs of the children. Raising kids is a full time job that requires constant attention, which means young couples will not have as much time for romance and fun as earlier.

However, once your kids have left home for college or their own homes, you will be able to ignite that lost spark in your marriage. Snuggling together by the fireplace, long walks hand in hand, and candle-lit dinner dates can once again find a place in your marital life.

Single parents can open their lives to a new world of adventure as well. You can now pay attention to all those friendships that have been neglected for too long. There are many activities out there to introduce you to new people.

It is difficult to think of starting a new venture or going on a world trip while the responsibility of raising children is all-encompassing. With your kids away, however, there is nothing stopping you from embarking on your dream.

Though change is often painful, this major life-altering event may herald new experiences for you as you begin to enjoy more time on your hands. There is no limit to the things that you can accomplish, be it pursuing higher education, starting a charity, or spending time in artistic pursuits such as painting.

Despite your best intentions, the departure of your children will certainly affect you in one way or another. The best way of going through this transition is to slowly restructure your life. However, it is advisable not to rush into things. Instead, take a few hours reappraising and organizing your life and priorities, which are now quite different. Your duties as a parent are to raise and care for your children. You have raised them well, and you need to trust that your work will pay dividends now that they are out of the house. The next step now is to focus on the second most important person, you. It is definitely payback time for a job well done.