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When your toddler throws a tantrum try to figure out what triggered it. Is he hungry, tired, uncomfortable or is he just being manipulative? If your shopping in the mall and your toddler has a meltdown he may just be overheated in his winter coat. Knowing what triggers the tantrum is the first step in preventing it in the future and calming him down faster.
The first thing you should do when your toddler gets completely carried away is to step back and observe. Let him express his frustrations for a while, as long as he is doing it in a safe fashion. Assure him periodically that you understand he is upset and will be happy to talk to him when he calms down. For younger toddlers, I keep asking if she's ready for a hug yet, expressing that I am ready to soothe her when she's ready to calm down.
Don't try to reason with them or explain what they are doing is wrong. Definitely do not give in to any manipulation! Toddlers are very smart and you will be having a lot of tantrums in the future if they realize that tantrums get them what they want.
When your toddler calms down, give him some love and attention. Spend time reading him books while cozying together on the couch or get down on the floor and play with his favorite toddler toy together. Discuss with him what went wrong and how he could have behaved in the future. We always start the discussion by saying, "Wow! That was a lot of crying!". And my toddlers usually have to agree!
Children just want to be like their parents. Whether it is washing their toy car whilst you are scrubbing away at the family vehicle, or whether it is playing with their dolls whilst you are seeing to your new born.
• You are involved and connected because you are the one providing options
Step 5. Fresh Start Whenever you get out of the bathroom, or arrive home from a short absence, no matter how difficult the separation process was for your child, reinforce your toddlers' growth and development with interest in what they did while you were absent. Forget any difficulty during your leaving process. You provide a fresh start.
• Praise and recognize your child's effort • Spend a little quality time with your child each time you return
Whenever your child's resources are challenged, point out and comment on your child's success. Fresh Starts are essential. Your child is learning mastery of their world without you as their honing device for a few minutes. There is no judgment of your child with "good boy" or "bad boy".
Encouraging growth requires recognition for whatever effort you toddler made to cope with the stress of separation. The "good job" is recognition for whatever they accomplished on their project. "Wow, look at what you made." You want to reinforce your toddler's efforts to grow and manage distressing feelings. This trying developmental phase is the beginning of teaching good problem solving to your child.
Welcoming a new addition to your home is a joy, but when your baby cries and you don't know why it can cause stress for the parents and the child.
