Adios Adipose — различия между версиями

Текущая версия на 05:13, 4 апреля 2013

I don’t think anybody plans on becoming obese, in fact I would go so far as to claiming that it surprises you, even though it is a long process taking years to accomplish, in the end it is still this “Oh Shit” moment when you realize that you are not just heavy set or a little big, but actually sick. Seriously sick in fact.

   I cannot sleep longer than 4 hours a night, I long for sleep but the pain won’t let me.
   I can’t walk across the shopping mall without being out of it for three days afterwards, because my feet will swell and I’ll be in pain for having to carry my weight so much it looks like sunburn on my soles.
   I can’t enjoy a cup of coffee with my wife at the new coffee place around the corner because their plastic chairs won’t be able to support my frame.
   I can’t go shopping because there is nothing in my size, I wear clothes like my grandfather used to, since I have to have it custom made.
   I can’t go go-carting with my son, as I won’t fit in one.
   I cannot take a Jeepney, because I won’t get through the door.
   I can’t have lunch with my family at the dining room table because the chairs are too hard for my weight.
   I can’t go for a walk with my wife, because I can barely move anymore.

I suffer from joint pains, back pains, high blood pressure and respiratory misfires, and eczema under my belly and breast folds (which are unfortunately quite smelly, too).

So I have to stop and ask myself, besides the horror scenario that my life has become, the even greater threat here is the questions – where am I heading? Will I be dead within 10 years, will I be unable to get up in the morning by myself at all within the next 5? Do I really want this to be my life? Can I really allow this to be my life?

The answer is not hard to guess – NO I CAN NOT CONTINUE ON THIS PATH.

But how did I get here? Am I stupid after all? Where was my head while my ass was competing in size with the cattle that my beloved hamburgers are made off?

The answer is a simple one. There is the usual path – young man, athletic, active and successful – what my wife likes to call an alpha male.

We alpha males leave big footprints. We work hard, we play hard, we eat like men and we shit like horses! Yes that is the way it is – fact is men do not compare penis sizes half as often as you would think – no it is the size of your offering to the ceramic gods that determines a real man. And how did I get there? Well let me tell you, at an average night out with my fellow buds, we would have a pizza for starters (each of us of course, not together!) a main course with a decent size slice of prime meat with some pasta on the side, the obligatory salad or vegetables for decoration and of course a plate of assorted cheeses to close the stomach. We would wash it down with some red wine and a few (dozen) beers. Because we are real men! While I was in my twenties and would spend my days on the soccer fields and running in the mornings, that was doable. obesity