Relationship Therapy

Determining the problem is half of the solution. We hear this in healthcare and in domestic abuse counseling, too.

Yet when you are on the receiving end of domestic abuse, you often lose sight of the fact that identifying the difficulty is part of the treatment. Battered females expect their abusive partners to have admitted that they are batterers so as to enter into therapy. Not true!

In fact, more often than not, batterers voluntarily entering into domestic abuse therapy are in denial that they're abusive. They come into treatment simply because of the "problems in their relationship."

The domestic violence intervention is generally inspired by the victim, and her engagement in the therapeutic process is followed by her abusive partner. He might see her as "the problem" and become ready to accept participation because he wants the relationship to work. Bottom line is that he doesn't wish to lose her.

Denial Isn't an Obstacle to Domestic Abuse Treatment

Denial is truly part of the situation and eliminating it is not a prerequisite for entering into domestic abuse counseling. Recognition, ownership and accountability are part of the therapeutic process.

From time to time we hear battered ladies say, "My partner will never admit to being abusive." "He is in accomplish denial." And from here, they wallow in hopelessness.

I believe that if an abusive partner has self-identified just like an abuser and recognizes his abusive thinking and behavior, then he's halfway home with regards to his rehabilitation. And this same abuser, prior to acknowledging that he is abusive, is additionally eligible for a successful outcome in domestic abuse therapy.

Relationship Therapy for Combative Behavior

As I prefer the phrase "Abusive click here" to describe domestic violence treatment, I see the value in referring to it as "Relationship Therapy for Combative Behavior." The concept of combative behavior carries less stigma and is more simply recognized by people who take part in it.

If you're in an abusive relationship and you're the only one seeing it so, do not despair over the possibility of you and your partner having a good prognosis. Understand that the entire process of self-identification and ownership are cornerstones of powerful therapeutic process. Appreciate that facilitating this responsibility-taking is the job of your therapist.

Be flexible in your choice of words to describe the style of intervention and help which you search for for both you and your partner. Select words which you know he will understand and motives that you know he will appreciate. You can be as vague as saying, "The intervention will assist with the type of issues we have." And finally , once again, do not expect your partner to be in admission of his abusive behavior in order for the two of you to be eligible for abusive relationship therapy.