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One of the most difficult stages of raising a young child is from 18 months to 3 years old. During this time, it can feel like there is a ball and chain connecting you to your child. It can feel like you are under your child's control. Your child seems to be dictating your every move, and actively restricting your movements.
Clingy toddlers translate to exhausted parents. During this phase, you may experience guilt, frustration, and sometimes anger because you want to break away from your child so you can breathe.
You are, in effect their GPS, global positioning system. Through your eyes, a brief separation seems small; from your child's eyes, the separation seems insurmountable at times. If your child cannot see you, they feel they are lost.
Toddlers send out honing signals and protest separation. You child may cling to your legs, throw themselves against the bathroom door, yell, whimper with tears streaming down their little cheeks and arms outstretched, or plead with you not to leave them. Your child has not yet developed "object constancy", a developmental stage when they know you exist even though they cannot see you. Until your toddler achieves object constancy, they feel if they cannot see you, that you are gone; they are lost and alone in the world.
Step 2. Calm Your child is in a "panic" about the separation. For them to calm their panic, you need to remain calm. Remember, emotions are contagious, if you are calm and confident your child will calm more quickly and feel more confident. If you are hyper-excited, your child will quickly "catch" your hyper-excitement and become overly reactive.
Step 3. Listen You need to listen to your child's protest about separation. The way your toddler knows you are listening, is that you respond to their distress by preparing them for the separation. In my clinical practice, I teach parents to play a revised version of the game peek-a-boo.
Peek-A-Boo • Tie one end of a strand of yarn around your waist and the other end around your child's waist • Have your child "leave" by going behind a wall where you cannot see them and they cannot see you for a second • Quickly "return" into sight "Wow, look at what you made." You want to reinforce your toddler's efforts to grow and manage distressing feelings. This trying developmental phase is the beginning of teaching good problem solving to your child. check here, Continue, Recommended Reading
