~Delete 25008: различия между версиями
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| − | It | + | It is the ability, put bluntly, to just "get over it," or more kindly, to take stock of your circumstances, accept them, and move on with your life in a healthier direction. A woman of wisdom will learn to use it to her advantage instead of getting caught up in unhealthy situations and scenarios. |
| − | + | We, as women, are better communicators than men. It's pretty much a given. The problem with that is we also like to "talk it out" when we are angry and upset, which can lead to a lot of unhealthy and unproductive 'venting' thrown in the wrong direction. When you're directing at your guy, for whatever reason, not only is it not productive or helpful, it is likely to send him running in the opposite direction as fast as he can or clamming up and refusing to talk about what is wrong. Is that really what you want? | |
| − | + | Here is a great example of how I helped one of my clients channel her "get over it gene": | |
| − | + | My client - let's call her Mary - met a great guy and had a truly fantastic first date; lots of chemistry and attraction and they had a great time together. During the set up to the date they had spoken about what each of them was looking for; he was newly separated and wasn't looking for a committed relationship right away and she was dating other men as she was recently out of longterm relationship but to have some "fun and enjoy life". But sparks still flew for her and he was wooing her by the end of the night. | |
| − | + | Very shortly after the date he told her he was going on a two weeks family trip that included his separated wife. It was a commitment he couldn't get out of and Mary had no problem to give him his space to do what he had to do - with no calls, texts, or emails. She felt secure in her feeling that he was into her and they would pick up where they had left off after his vacation. Sure enough, he got in touch with her after the two weeks but... (you knew it was coming) it wasn't to arrange another date. It was to let her know that his "almost but not quite" ex-wife had found out about his date and was giving him significant grief. He decided that, while he really liked Mary, he now wanted to be "just friends." | |
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| + | Being "friend-zoned" hurts at the best of times when there is a real spark and chemistry there, but for Mary, it was doubly hurtful because she thought they had really "talked it out" and that they each knew and were okay with what the other wanted. | ||
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| + | She called me furious and hurt and ready to vent. She wanted to call him, email him, text him; let him know how much he had hurt her and to say "how dare you!" Her vent to me was about why would he even try to start dating when he was obviously emotionally unavailable? Why put her through that? "What a jerk!" | ||
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| + | That was when I knew I had to stop her in her tracks with some tough love. | ||
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| + | [http://www.youtube.com/coachcomebackPJ Dating Tips] | ||
Версия 05:23, 9 мая 2013
It is the ability, put bluntly, to just "get over it," or more kindly, to take stock of your circumstances, accept them, and move on with your life in a healthier direction. A woman of wisdom will learn to use it to her advantage instead of getting caught up in unhealthy situations and scenarios.
We, as women, are better communicators than men. It's pretty much a given. The problem with that is we also like to "talk it out" when we are angry and upset, which can lead to a lot of unhealthy and unproductive 'venting' thrown in the wrong direction. When you're directing at your guy, for whatever reason, not only is it not productive or helpful, it is likely to send him running in the opposite direction as fast as he can or clamming up and refusing to talk about what is wrong. Is that really what you want?
Here is a great example of how I helped one of my clients channel her "get over it gene":
My client - let's call her Mary - met a great guy and had a truly fantastic first date; lots of chemistry and attraction and they had a great time together. During the set up to the date they had spoken about what each of them was looking for; he was newly separated and wasn't looking for a committed relationship right away and she was dating other men as she was recently out of longterm relationship but to have some "fun and enjoy life". But sparks still flew for her and he was wooing her by the end of the night.
Very shortly after the date he told her he was going on a two weeks family trip that included his separated wife. It was a commitment he couldn't get out of and Mary had no problem to give him his space to do what he had to do - with no calls, texts, or emails. She felt secure in her feeling that he was into her and they would pick up where they had left off after his vacation. Sure enough, he got in touch with her after the two weeks but... (you knew it was coming) it wasn't to arrange another date. It was to let her know that his "almost but not quite" ex-wife had found out about his date and was giving him significant grief. He decided that, while he really liked Mary, he now wanted to be "just friends."
Being "friend-zoned" hurts at the best of times when there is a real spark and chemistry there, but for Mary, it was doubly hurtful because she thought they had really "talked it out" and that they each knew and were okay with what the other wanted.
She called me furious and hurt and ready to vent. She wanted to call him, email him, text him; let him know how much he had hurt her and to say "how dare you!" Her vent to me was about why would he even try to start dating when he was obviously emotionally unavailable? Why put her through that? "What a jerk!"
That was when I knew I had to stop her in her tracks with some tough love.
