The Empty Nest Problem: Getting Your Life Back On Course
Written by:Elton Darden
When you're in the midst of dirty diapers and spilled milk, playdates and sleepovers, homework help and dance lessons, you almost think it will be this way forever. But then the day comes when your precious babies are grown and gone. A lot of parents have a difficult time coping with this change. The empty feeling is a common occurrence among parents. Don't worry. You can get through this difficult time.
Despite the fact that the kids have left home, remember that the bond you share with them will always exist and you will always remain their parent. Your children do not need you in the same way, but they still need a relationship with you. When children are small, they are dependent on you. It is your responsibility to give them the skills and knowledge they need to become independent people. Once they grow up, their link to you changes. They are still likely to come to you for advice and counsel. Gradually, however, there will be things that they can teach you. The relationship can move away from the parent-child relationship of their childhood toward a friendship, a very close and beautiful friendship if neither of you seeks to be controlling.
Before your children entered your life, your family consisted of just you and your spouse. While initially spouses had priority, the arrival of kids changed all that. With your children gone, you can rediscover the joy of spending time with your spouse. It is time once again for you to be a twosome, planning vacations, outings, and activities for just the two of you. Travel together, or sleep in for a change. Nothing is off limits when you don't have to worry about caring for your kids. Don’t undervalue this chance to rebuild the friendship with your closest friend. Even if you lost your spouse, you can still take this chance to meet new people and reconnect with friends you haven't seen in years.
When you're a parent with small children at home, you have to put your child's needs first. Now you can serve yourself first, take care of your own needs, and cut nobody's meat but your own. You no longer have to put your own needs on the back burner. Finally, you have the chance to do everything you want to do. Maybe you can visit a country you've never been to. If a new pursuit tickles your fancy, you can take up a hobby. Whatever it is, you can pursue it now.
It may not be easy to accept the fact that your children will soon be embarking on their new journey, leaving you behind. When the moment comes, do not try a quick fix by making hasty changes to your life. Remember the wise old saying: act in haste and repent in leisure. Refrain from doing anything that you would later regret. Only after you have adjusted to the change, will you be able to see things in a new perspective.
Naturally, following your dreams does not mean breaking ties with your children. Let them know you are always available for them by contacting them on a regular basis. Your job as a parent is to raise your kids to be strong enough to take care of themselves. All that you can do now is be there for them, and hope that they make you and the rest of your family proud.
